TRY.LEY > Intro
Originally Published March 5, 2018
I want to start off this story with some background information and goals.
Basics:
My name is Ryley. I’m 26 years old. I love corgis and 90s music. And I’m a Mormon.
Background:
I graduated high school in 2009. I moved in with some friends and was on top of my social game. I was absolutely living in an ignorance is bliss mindset because I bounced from job to job so that I could have playing money while relying on my parents to pay my living expenses. I finally decided to go to school but failed out and spent all my loan money on clothes and toys.
In 2012, I decided to serve a mission for my church because I felt so much regret for how I’d been living my life and I thought dedicating myself to living a strict schedule/lifestyle would help me learn how to successfully manage adult life.* My mission was an incredible experience that taught me how to love and serve others, how to plan and work for the things you want to happen in life, and I developed better communications skills.
I came home from my mission in 2014 ready to attack adulting again and thing got pretty ugly. The door to school got shut in my face. A relationship I had high hopes for ended. I ended up moving to a ward** where I was completely ignored and no matter how hard I tried, I could not make friends. I ended up in a job I loved and finally felt like my skills were being recognized by my team and by my employers only to find out that I was working with a bunch of two-faced bitches who were actually harassing me and causing psychological damage. And to top it all off, I had several debt collectors calling me daily trying to get money that I just did not have since I was completely supporting myself at this point.
In December of 2016, I decided to go to counseling because I felt emotionally depleted and I knew I didn’t have the tools I needed to handle everything on my plate. I was living with incredibly supportive friends and I was in a decent job that was paying me enough to pay all my bills, but nothing more. Though my needs were being met, every decision or action I made was in direct response to a problem I was facing. I was not living, I was surviving. I wasn’t happy, I was exhausted. I was putting in 110% at work in the hopes of a raise that was denied. I was going to church with the hope that I would make friends but I felt constantly overlooked and inadequate. I was the fattest I’ve ever been IN MY LIFE. I felt absolutely stuck. The course of life I was on was the only option and there was no hope for things changing any time soon.
One day, I had to leave work early because the reality of my situation had set in and I had what I assume was an anxiety attack brought on by a mixture of my suffocating financial problems and PTSD from the harassment I’d faced at my last job. I prayed to God harder than before to help me. I told Him about everything I’d done to try to solve my problems but that I felt incapacitated and I needed something to change. Days later, after going to court to deal with some traffic tickets I’d put off, I felt strongly that I needed to quit my job. I was on my way back to work I had this clarity that if I put in my 2 weeks notice, that would give me time and drive to find another job or else I would need to move home with my parents who were living in South Carolina. Things didn’t end up working out for me to stay in Utah and in October I moved to Charleston. I was originally planning on only being here until the end of the year but I got here and immediately felt peace, and love, and important and I am not ready to give that up.
I’ve seen a lot of healing in the few months I’ve been out here but there are some things I definitely need to work on and it’s time to start focusing on that since I feel like I can actually breathe again. My ward here is starting an initiative called More Fit, focusing on Physical, Spiritual, and Life goals. I’ve been asked to be the Goal Guru and to help others met their goals. So here we are. I’m going to be posting my progress on Instagram as well as posting some more in-depth insights here. I would love to have anyone follow me as I try to improve.
Goals:
Physical: Lose 60 lbs. by my birthday (October 16th). That’s less than 2 lbs. a week.
Plan:
Run for at least 20 minutes every morning
Weight Watchers
Spiritual: Fulfill my calling
Plan:
Study scriptures 1 hr everyday
Temple once a quarter
Pray for missionary opportunities
Life: Get out of debt*** by April 20th
Plan:
Create a budget and stick to it
Pay tithing and bills first
So there you have it folks. Hopefully that helps you understand where I’m coming from and where I’m hoping to go. As I’ve thought about this process, the word transparency has really stuck out to me. I want to be really open about what I’m going through because the other option is to hide behind shame and embarrassment and that is the biggest reason I haven’t made changes in the past. I can’t imagine I’m the only human dealing with the struggles of losing weight, or making friends/connecting with other, or balancing a relationship with God. So I want to share those struggles so that I can get help but so that others know that they’re not alone in their struggles and that fighting back is an option. All I ask for is your kindness and respect.
Thanks for being a part of this!
—TRYLEY
*There were definitely other reasons I decided to serve a mission too but that was a big one.
**Mormon lingo for a church congregation. In my life, my wards have been the basis of my social group.
***Except for my school loans.