TRY.LEY > 59 Ways I Add Value To My Life
Originally posted May 25, 2018
If you just want the list, keep scrolling.
So, I love to slackline. It’s basically tightrope-walking. But cooler I think. I’d heard about it in 2009 and thought it sounded cool and in 2010, I passed some guys I kinda knew doing it and I asked to try. I was instantly hooked and have been very casually doing it since then. It’s something that’s always empowered me because I felt like it was the first thing I really went out of my comfort zone to try and doing it played on one of my biggest insecurities, my weight. When I stepped on the line for the first time, I felt every inch of fat on my body wiggling and jiggling. I was immediately aware of my body and it’s size and it’s flaws. But for some reason I decided not to let that stop me from doing this thing.
One day, back in the spring of 2016, as I was go through the 3 ring shit show of my life, I decided I wanted to slackline. The weather had been nice that week and it was starting to feel like spring which always energizes me and gives me hope for change. Up until this point, my days looked like this: I would go to work and deal with the bitches I worked with, come home exhausted from not only outperforming them, but emotionally coping with petty office politics, get in bed and watch TV and play on my phone until someone invited me to do something, and if they didn’t I stayed in bed. I was fat and lazy and sad and frustrated and making no effort to change so when the weather had been nice, I felt like I finally had a reason to do something. So I woke up that day pumped to get on my slackline and I looked outside aaaand: overcast. And drizzling a bit. I was bummed for a minute but I decided to go anyways.
It was *FRREEEEEZING* cold. I slackline barefoot so my feet went numb pretty early on from the frozen ground but my goal was to just walk the line once before I packed it up. The wind was super strong and I would get on the line and I would fall right back off. I waited for the wind to die down but I was only able to take a few steps before a gust of wind would push me off again. I was getting so. frustrated.
While I was waiting for a break in the wind, I said a little prayer asking God to let up on the weather for just a little bit so I could just walk the line and go home. I told him how frustrating my life had been and I just wanted this time to do something that I knew I could do and feel like I could tackle these other challenges in my life. I felt like my heart/desire was pure and righteous and I honestly believe in an all-powerful God who can command the elements. So I said my prayer and got back on my line, hopeful that God would fill my request.
The wind didn’t stop. In fact, it started snowing a little but I kept going, telling myself that I had faith. I had asked, I was working for what I wanted, God was going to deliver. After several more failed attempts, I fell to my knees in frustration and demanded answers from God. “Why aren’t you answering me?! I asked for the thing. Why aren’t you giving it to me? Why are you doing this to me? Why aren’t you helping me? Did I not ask with real intent? Were my motives not pure enough? Do you not understand what’s going on in my life and how much I need this right now?”
I finished yelling at God because the ground was frozen and I got back on the line. Then this moment of clarity–which had been pretty rare during the last year–came. “What good what that even do?” I was reminded that I knew how to slackline. I’d been doing it for like 6 years at this point. I knew I knew how to do it on nice spring days, so how would I improve if conditions were perfect? I got back on my line and simply said, “Just kidding, don’t stop the wind, just help me learn how to walk the line anyways.” That day was a game-changer.
Life doesn’t always have ideal conditions. We make mistakes. Other people make mistakes and sometimes that effects us. We have limited resources or understanding or abilities. The challenge of life is to learn to be successful while dealing with these challenges, not to avoid them.
I tell this story because a lot of times when I’m struggling to get through something, I feel so alone and like the only person having trouble being successful in life. And then I validate that thought by comparing my life that’s riddled with problems to people I know who are traveling the world and graduating college and getting married and having babies or whatever else. But, and I wish I could find the meme, but people don’t post the pictures of them struggling in life on Instagram. And it’s so unfair of me to compare the pains of my life to the positive experiences of someone else’s. This is unhealthy and destructive and only serves to validate inaccurate and insecure thoughts. I have spent a lot of time finding proof for why I suck. This day started me on a path to healing, but it’s really only been the last few months that I’ve been trying to really fill my time with things that add value to my life rather than confirm my insecurities.
FACT: YOU ARE DIVINE. YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND HIS DIVINITY IS IN EACH ONE OF HIS CHILDREN.
So this is going to look different for everyone, but here are some ways that I add value to my individual worth:
Learn a new skill
Macrame
Get better at skills you already have
Slacklining
Guitar
Photography
Yoga
Spend time with people who encourage you
Avoid listening to sad songs or reading sad memes and saying “That’s me” but instead saying, “yeah, I’ve felt that before”
Do something nice for another human
Bake cookies
Write little notes to people when you feel like you need to express appreciation or admiration for them
Help someone with something on their plate
Tag someone in memes
Do something that scares you
Swim in the ocean
Kayak in gator water
Post vulnerable things on the interwebs
Go outside
Hold babies
Pamper yourself
Style your hair
Put on a real outfit
Shave
Allow yourself to FEEL THE EMOTIONS YOU’RE FEELING
Let other people vent to you
Feed yourself good food because your body is not a garbage can
Don’t let people call you an idiot/dumb/stupid/anything that challenges your intelligence
Tell people what you need from them
A hug
A joke
Stroke your hair
Validation
Prayers
An apology
Time/Attention
Patience
Forgiveness
Set boundaries in your relationships
End unhealthy relationships
With people who are taking more than their giving
With people who do not respect your boundaries
With people who do not appreciate/encourage/uplift you
Do things by yourself
Go to the movies
Go to the beach
Go to a sit-down restaurant
Go for a drive
Make eye contact/acknowledge the people you pass on the street
Clean your room
Clean your car
Drink water
There is no shortage of things to add to this list but it’s definitely a starting point. The general idea is, validate your positive thoughts and qualities rather than negative thoughts and insecurities.
K cool. Go kill it this week
—TRYLEY